Burning Love

Even though dance is something that dancers consider fun, when it is something you do often, you can get a little sick of it. Not to say that the love has died. I think even if you start hating dancing, you still love it to some extent. When you are overdoing it though, you can hit a wall.

Being a dancer can be overwhelming. I can be pulled in so many directions because I have so many people that I have to serve. In the end though, I cannot be of service to anyone if I am not taking care of myself. A lady once told me that I have fill up my own cup first. From there, I can serve people from the saucer that contains what overflows from my filled cup. That advice has stuck with me and I evaluate my situations often to make sure I am on track to being fulfilled before I try to fulfill everyone else.

This is a challenge, especially if you were raised to please. I was raised in a family where I was groomed to make sure that everyone else was happy before I would check in with myself. Honestly, checking in with my own happiness was not even a consideration. This is a dangerous way to live because you can give every part of you away and end up empty. Even if that is your tendency, taking the time to do what fulfills you is important and must be done.

So how does that relate to dance? My career does have parts of it that are out of my control. My directors, teachers, and partners do hold some of my future in their hand because they can withhold their time from me if they choose. When that happens, there is little that I can do about it. Begging and pleading tend to be futile. If my relationships in dance fall apart, I know it is a matter of time before they will come back together. There seems to always be an ebb and flow to this and it relates to dance politics which I abhor. While I have denied access to these people, I have an opportunity to recharge and refuel myself. This is done by taking time to self-evaluate where I am at. Am I happy with my current situations? Do new boundaries need to be set? Am I getting what I need out of the relationships in which I am entwined?

Sometimes I come out of these lulls with new inspiration. Struggles lead to new movement and choreography that seem to appear to me unexpectedly. I usually come out with a renewed sense of what I need from this world to be all that I know I can be. Often this kind of hiatus opens new opportunities for me that I never imagined. I may be noticed by someone who passed by the studio while I was working on my dancing and be approached for new projects. This is how I end up with lots of new work in my world. If you are feeling like you are in a rut or a setback, try to find the opportunity in it. Everything really does happen for a reason and it maybe just to give you time to get your head on straight. Be thankful for forced downtime, as most of us are poor at giving it to ourselves.

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