Misconstrued Intentions

Partner dancers are inherently flirty. The dances we do with partners are not sterile. They tell a story. Typically a lusty one at that. This can misconstrue much to new people in the community. If they are not used to the level of intensity in the dancing, they can see it as an open invitation to more than just dancing.

Sometimes there is that open invitation. Sometimes there is not. I have found it difficult on many occasions and just blown someone off that was flirty while we were on and off the dance floor. There are emotions that are stirred by doing these dances because of what they represent. Yes, we may just be dancing for fun. However, when the physical connection happens with someone and you feel in-sync, it can be confusing. The same signals that we feel when we are attracted to someone off the dance floor can be triggered when we sync up with someone on the dance floor.

There is an adrenaline rush that happens. That signals the brain that something really good is happening. This trickles down to our logic saying, this feels good. This feels good because I am moving. This feels good because I am moving with someone. This feels good because I am moving with someone who is touching me. This feels good because there is something more going on between us then dancing. You can see how just having fun can trickle down to your brain confusing the enjoyment with attraction for the person.

In my past, I have tried dating people that triggered that adrenaline rush when we danced. Often, that chemistry on the floor did not allow for chemistry off the floor. This can be disappointing and lead to involvement beyond what was originally intended because of seeking that adrenaline rush again. Sometimes it is by being physically intimate. Sometimes it is by trying to dance together again to see if it can be recreated. I have friends that I dance with that give me that rush in such a way that I seek out dancing with them. I know better now than to date them and many of them I have befriended over the years and that ship sailed.

I have encountered that people I have chemistry off the dance floor with, I often have no chemistry with on the dance floor. This can be disconcerting as, like many dancers, I would love to find that chemistry in one package – on and off the dance floor – in one person. This is easier said than done. In the end it boils down to finding someone that I have chemistry with off the dance floor as we are likely going to be spending more time there. I can still go out dancing with them and have a good time, but just be more separate on the floor so that we can have a good time without doubt about our overall chemistry creeping in.

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