Oh, the frenemy

What happens when everywhere you turn, you feel like you come up against a brick wall, all the while “friends” landing daggers in your spine? This has been part of my journey this past year. Annoyingly, this continues to be my journey this year as well.

I often wonder if I need new friends and colleagues. Is it the industry? I think that would be letting people off without being accountable for their bad behaviour. There is toxicity within most established institutions. However, can you blame an institution for other’s toxicity or is that giving the institution too much power? Maybe this person is just a bad apple.

How do you identify a frenemy as this person would be deemed in colloquial terms? It can be more difficult than imagined. Even more so if the person is a charming narcissist. They can be your best friend to your face and all the while be trying to manipulate you under that layer of charm. All the while carrying out their own agenda with no regard for how that will affect you as long as they are getting their jollies.

I admit I can be gullible at times. Tell me something far fetched and the first words out of my mouth are “really?” with wide eyed wonder! For how insightful I can be about certain things, I can also be quite a sucker. Hence my current situation? Maybe. Maybe not.

What happens when someone promises to keep a big issue confidential to protect all involved parties, then reneges on her word and goes ahead and breaches that confidentiality? Do you fire that person even if they are in a greater position of power than you? Do you break off contact? Do you live and learn that this person is not trustworthy and try to protect yourself from future situations that she could do the same thing to you all the while trying to maintain a seemingly unchanged relationship? What happens when you still have to deal or rely with this person on a daily basis? Can you still continue to trust them?

It’s a tricky situation to be in. When you rely on this person to provide you with work, thus they help you make a living, it can be hard to cut ties. It takes courage to turn your back on them and put yourself out there to discover newer and more reliable situations. Treading down a new unknown path with someone else who has the upper hand and is not well known to you in a work situation can be risky. Is it better to stay with the devil you know or try out the devil you don’t? It depends on how risk averse you are. I tend to be risk friendly. My plan is to end on good terms to keep the door open. That doesn’t mean I will forget what she did. That would be more gullible than my usual self.

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