To Date a Dancer

So you think you want to date an impassioned dancer? To date a dancer, you need to be a strong person – emotionally, mentally, and socially. It’s not easy dating a full-time dancer. Many fantasize and some fetishize dating a dancer. There are some things for which you have to prepare yourself.

You have to be emotionally strong to date a professional dancer. Why? Dancers are going to go through ups and downs and need someone grounded beside them who isn’t going to add flames to the fire. The ups and downs are part of the job. The ups may include excitement about new work, new partners, travel, artistic influence, the creation process. The down may include not getting the desired role, politics in the community, back-stabbing by other artists, artistic blockage. This realm is not a typical 9-5 job. Even if you are hired with one company full-time, you are likely to experience many ups and downs as you bump up against ego of directors, fellow dancers, financial influencers, politics, fatigue, etc. Being a freelance dancer is worse. There is constant seeking of work, constant artistic creation, and fighting for survival against emerging and existing artists.

You have to be mentally strong to date a professional dancer. Why? You are going to have any insecurity in the relationship easily flushed out especially if your partner performs professionally. Jealousy is usually the easiest way to identify the insecurity rearing its head. Watching your partner being lauded by audience members as they watch from afar then meet up close. Watching students who admire your partner interact in a friendly way with your partner can be threatening. Dance tends to be a professional where physical boundaries of other workplaces would be crossed. Because dancers interact physically in their work, they tend not to be as aware of physical touch being an issue as their bodies are often touched so often in a day, there can be desensitization to it.

You have to be socially strong to date a professional dancer. Why? You are likely going to be on their arm at events that are highly social. You are going to see people who get shy in your dancers presence because they have your dancer on a pedestal of admiration. You will have people coming up to find out who you are related to your dancer. If you are someone who is used to being in the spotlight, being on the arm of your dancer can be difficult as you are likely a nobody in their realm. You will also be curiosity in their realm. It can be hard to be the arm candy when you like having the arm candy admire you in your realm. You may have to set your ego aside and let your dancer be the star here, even if you are used to being the star yourself.

Dancers are amazing people. The amount of work they put in to teach, perform, and create is astounding. The artistic process doesn’t sleep so their mind will often drift to it. This can be hard to understand if you have a job that you either just like or don’t like at all. Dancers tend to be intertwined with their work so much so that to try to unwind the work from the artist is nearly impossible. This is a reality of the dancer that has to be understood. Are you tough enough?

 

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